The Shooting in Tucson

I am currently sitting in my motor home which is sitting in the parking lot of the Safeway where the shooting occurred last Saturday.  There are no police  here but the yellow tape is still up and there are several TV crews still here.  The Safeway is closed.

Last night I went to the memorial for those killed or wounded at the shooting, me and 26,000 other people.  Many of us spent 5 or more hours sitting in the hot sun waiting just to get in. 

There is pain in the heart as I write this.  Today was the funeral for most of those killed.

Last night I could not sleep.  I was only thinking of what was missing, what DIDN'T Obama say that could have been said that very well might have totally changed the picture.

NOBODY talked about forgiveness, particularly forgiveness of Jared Lee Loughner, the shooter.  Many people are still holding anger, confusion, animosity and fear in their hearts when they think of Jared.  This is pain that we are causing ourselves, Jared is not causing it.  Forgiveness is the way to let go of that habitual self abusive behavior. 

And forgiveness is only the first step in the real healing that comes with love...

I wish I had been here last Saturday.  I wish I had been wounded too, just so I could demonstrate forgiveness.   I wish I had been on that podium last night. If I was up there last night I would have challenged Tucson and America to forgive Jared.  I would have pointed out that Jared was looking for someone to show him how to love.  For if Jared had learned about love he never would have had any interest in killing anyone.

We failed Jared.  I failed Jared.  I will do better.

Curing Violence

This shooting here in Tucson this weekend has captivated my thinking since it happened.  I again am looking at “what can I do to help” and again I have seen things, particularly today on my hike up the mountain overlooking the mall where the shooting happened.  I have even been talking to people who know or knew some of the victims.  This is very real stuff for me right now. 

 

As I was sitting on the top of the mountain again my mind went to what caused this violence?  The government solution is always more guns, more cops to protect us from the crazies with the guns or bombs or knives or whatever.  To me this is a stupid solution, we have to look to what the real problem is, not cover it up with the band-aid of police protection.

 

The way to Cure Violence is to look at why any person would want to harm another.  I have found that people who are able to express themselves, to vent their frustration or hurt in a peaceful way will not use violence.  The most violent societies are those that discourage free expression and in freer societies the most violent people tend to be “quiet, shy type” who never speaks out.  When frustrations and hurts never get expressed or vented it builds up until it explode in violence. 

 

I have found that those who are most silent are those who have been taught that words hurt people, which is what I call The Greatest Lie.  It is the fear of hurting others or being hurt with words that keeps people silent and ensures this type of violence.  If those who believe this lie don’t explode in violence then they turn their hurt or rage inward on themselves until they make themselves very sick. 

 

I am very passionate about confronting this Greatest Lie. I was imagining I was at the shopping center when the shooting occurred, what would I do?  The first thing to do in that kind of situation is to stop further damage from being done.  So I would have confronting the shooter.  After that was taken care of then I would have addressed the injury of those hurt by the shooter; stop the bleeding where I can.  Next I would stop the further damage that was being done by how people were reacting emotionally to the thought of the violence, getting people to calm down, breathe deeply and relax.  The emotional trauma is the longest lasting damage to any event like this and most people have NO idea how to address that; psychologist are really only have primitive understanding of how to deal with this. 

 

First thing to do is STOP further damage from being done.  To me that means to confront the Greatest Lie and those who perpetuate that lie.  This is a major step toward solving this problem.  In my personal effort to overcoming the world’s ability to push my buttons or cause me any emotional injury I kept reminding myself of the truth with this mantra, “Words cannot harm me, only my reactions can cause me harm.”  This mantra itself is really all a person needs to get free, although the other steps sure do help.

 

So when it comes to Curing Violence I really do want to confront this Greatest Lie first and foremost, and I want to confront those aspects of society that encourage or perpetuate this Greatest Lie. 

 

We can Cure Violence, but it takes courage and a commitment to first being honest without ourselves and then with others.  We have to be honest with ourselves that it is not people’s words that hurt us, but our reactions to those words that cause us harm.  Then we have to be honest with those around us and not tell them we are sorry for hurting them by being honest with them, but remind them that they have the power over words whenever they choose to be honest with themselves. 

As this honesty grows in our world then violence will diminish.  Until then we will only have conflicts and violence.